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The Male Stages Of Life

    AGE       DRINK

    17          beer
    25          vodka
    35          scotch
    48          double scotch
    66          Maalox

 

    SEDUCTION LINE

    17          My parents are away for the weekend.
    25          My girlfriend is away for the weekend.
    35          My fiancée is away for the weekend.
    48          My wife is away for the weekend.
    66          My second wife is dead.

    FAVORITE SPORT

    17          sex
    25          sex
    35          sex
    48          sex
    66          napping

    DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE

    17          "tongue"
    25          "breakfast"
    35          "She didn't set back my therapy."
    48          "I didn't have to meet her kids."
    66          "Got home alive."

    FAVORITE FANTASY

    17          getting to third
    25          airplane sex
    35          menage a trois
    48          taking the company public
    66          Swiss maid/Nazi love slave

    HOUSE PET

    17          roaches
    25          stoned-out college roommate
    35          German Shepherd
    48          children from his first marriage
    66          Barbi

    WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?

    17          25
    25          35
    35          48
    48          66
    66          17

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THE STAGES OF A MAN'S LIFE
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